Another lesson learned:
There are no guarantees in love, in marriage. I look at photographs and see what once was for some couples , makes me wonder what went wrong, where and why. Then I became of those people, everything came crashing down and I never even saw it coming. Until my instincts told me something just wasn't right. Then it all exploded, then for the 1st time, I really saw my life without him and it was painful, all so painful. We have now reconciled, we talked deeper than we ever have and I realized the areas where things went wrong and the things I took for granted. The scariest thing is, if someone had asked me a day or two before how I rated my marriage, I would say, I had a great marriage and then BOOM! but my husband was not happy and we had not taken inventory of our marriage together for a while. We were living day to day, learned to tolerate each other more. There were no explosive arguments, we didn't even know this was even more dangerous point for us because no one was expressing how they truly felt.
I'm still disappointed, I must say, because there are really no guarantees, no matter how hard you may think you are trying. Hopefully its just because the wounds are still fresh. I love my husband and I know he loves me... We are both committed to making this work. I think this just takes us to another level of commitment in this mysterious institute called marriage.
Even though we have reconciled and are on the right track, we will be going to counseling and I hope this opens our eyes even more.
My goal is not to sound like a pessimist about marriage, I would still say its very worth it, I'm glad to have married my husband. This is just sharing one of my lessons learned as the title of my blog states. Hope everyone has been doing good, I'm looking forward to getting this memorial day w/end started. Ciao people.
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