Another lesson learned:
There are no guarantees in love, in marriage. I look at photographs and see what once was for some couples , makes me wonder what went wrong, where and why. Then I became of those people, everything came crashing down and I never even saw it coming. Until my instincts told me something just wasn't right. Then it all exploded, then for the 1st time, I really saw my life without him and it was painful, all so painful. We have now reconciled, we talked deeper than we ever have and I realized the areas where things went wrong and the things I took for granted. The scariest thing is, if someone had asked me a day or two before how I rated my marriage, I would say, I had a great marriage and then BOOM! but my husband was not happy and we had not taken inventory of our marriage together for a while. We were living day to day, learned to tolerate each other more. There were no explosive arguments, we didn't even know this was even more dangerous point for us because no one was expressing how they truly felt.
I'm still disappointed, I must say, because there are really no guarantees, no matter how hard you may think you are trying. Hopefully its just because the wounds are still fresh. I love my husband and I know he loves me... We are both committed to making this work. I think this just takes us to another level of commitment in this mysterious institute called marriage.
Even though we have reconciled and are on the right track, we will be going to counseling and I hope this opens our eyes even more.
My goal is not to sound like a pessimist about marriage, I would still say its very worth it, I'm glad to have married my husband. This is just sharing one of my lessons learned as the title of my blog states. Hope everyone has been doing good, I'm looking forward to getting this memorial day w/end started. Ciao people.
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1 day ago
4 comments:
I pray that God bless you and your husband and keeps the love you guys have for each other fresh and anew everyday. Seriously, God bless you for this post. Since getting married and even before getting married I read a LOT about marriage and getting the marriage you want. I read up on so much from those who are happily married and guzzled up all the advice. The one thing that was a common thread is that marriage is a choice. It's not a head in the clouds, easy breezy thing. But it's a choice. Where you get up every morning look over at that next body and choose to continue spending your lives together.
What that means to me is that it is TOUGH. You essentially have to renew your vows to yourself every single morning. "This person is not perfect, he's got flaws, he annoys the heck outta me sometimes, but I choose him like that and I will love him for whatever may come because it's my choice." This really helps I think.
Stay strong, stay positive, smell the roses. I'm really touched.
Kemi dearest, thanks so much. Marriage is indeed a choice, there will challenges along the way but thats why we have a living God to see us through. xxxxx
NewLife, Thanks so much for your honesty on these pages, it is pure encouragement. I thank God for your maturity in making the decision to keep at it and makes things work. Please don't stop blogging.
@ Hadassah
Thanks so much Esther, this was encouraging, I cant wait to hear your testimony, I'm rooting for ya!
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