Wednesday, August 18, 2010


The memories are still raw and just about a week old. I guess I should still expect these emotions every now and again. God has been good too me in so many ways that I lost count. However I was devastated about a week ago when I took my professional exam and failed for the 2nd time. I have to struggle with feeling like a failure, I 've been told that some people have to take it up to 5 times before they pass. However, that has not been comforting to me, because then I think, why can't I be one of those that pass it at the 1st try.
I sometimes wonder if this is a sign, is this career path God's will for my life? or did I just simply fail the exam and should plan to retake it. I studied, shut myself off from the world for weeks, I prayed and I was actually confident that I would pass it this time, but I didn't!
Some where deep inside, when I pray now, I wonder if God still answers prayers, I wonder what I did wrong to deserve this,I know this sounds ridiculous because its just a professional exam. I still know the truth, though its hard to grasp these days. I know He has a plan for my life even though I may not recognize it now, hubby says perhaps it will be revealed to me at a later time.
In the meantime I will take it one step at a time. Like hubby says, I should be thankful that at least I'm in a good place in my life now, I may not be moving forward career-wise but at least I'm not moving backwards.
I love my hubby, he's the best. He has been so supportive, he actually left work to come home to comfort me when I was having a melt-down on the day of, after I failed the exam. He is one way for sure, that God has been good to me.
I hope everyone is doing good *hugs*