Friday, June 18, 2010

Be true to thine self

I was taking a moment to reflect on my marriage and ...
I will like to applaud those that took the time to build the foundation in their relationship/marriage. We did and its value keeps repaying for it self. I don't believe any of us know all the answers but there are are just some uncompromisable factors in a relationship, one is being comfortable within ones self, not just flowing with the wind of the world. Knowing who you are and whose you are, knowing the Almighty who has got your back in and at all times.
Some people get busy in planning what the "big" wedding is supposed to look like, the house with the white picket fence, the cars, the superficial image of what society says marriage is supposed to look like and then they wonder what went wrong, why did everything crumble. Jesus said, "Anyone who hears my teaching and ignores it, is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock."

In my reflection, I found myself thanking God for bringing me so far. I thank God that I'm broken from those chains, I'm sure its a combination of factors, learned behavior from family, the media, friends and society.
There is something very empowering about total surrender to The One who sees and knows my future, my beginning, my end and all the in between, why then did i struggle so much with Him back then, I'm so thankful I'm now on the right track.
The truth now is I couldn't have planned the way my life turned out all by myself without His guidance. I find myself often in awe of my heavenly father and all that He has brought me through.

Something many couples may ignore is attending authentic christain premarital/marital counselling, it should teach about the order of things, God 1st of course, love, respect, humility, selflessness etc. Once things are in the right order, its amazing how everything else falls into place.
It helps to guard your eyes, your ears from the shows you watch, what you read, who you talk to, the kind of music you listen to etc, these avenues plant seeds for a long time to come, that's why sometimes you may wonder where some of the things you do come from

Pray about what may seem like the inconsequential things and let God surprise you over and over :). I was feeling a void within myself and my hubby since our last fight, though we were getting along just great after wards, I explained it away that I was just hurt and it will heal with time. Until, I was reminded that I had to be intentional about the healing, I couldn't wait for time to do it for me. Leaving that emotional distance is not a good place to be, I decided I wasn't going to fall into the rot of this is what happens in marriage after some time. Suddenly it clicked for me! pray about that void and I can say now that I feel as close to my hubby as I was before the fight. Its just the kind of God I serve.

Thanks for reading and I hope everyone has a great weekend. Ciao!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Parental drama

I'm overwhelmed with my thoughts.
My parents have been fighting like cats and dogs and have now some how intensified how they involve their children after or during the crazy fights by reporting one another to the children. My father has shared gory details of things that happened as far back as 40years ago between them that should be left between a husband and a wife, I resent him for that. It appears that he's bent on destroying her image with the children but it ain't going to work.
I find myself being resentful of them at times because I hate that with almost 40 years of marriage, they still don't have it together. That's one of the reasons I married my hubby, because there seemed to be stability in his family. I resent that a foundation was not built for me as a woman, in terms of what a good marriage should be. I strongly believe that every good parent owes their children that. I resent that all their children are now married except one in his late teens and they continue to show him these awful examples. I am now at a point where I dread picking up their phone calls, because I know mom is about to say something else about dad and vice versa.
I'm disappointed because I expect much more from them and I have no respect whatsoever for this kind of behavior.
Yes, I've tried to talk to them individually, they both do not have a teachable spirit and they shout you down when you try to let them see things a certain way, they automatically believe that you are taking sides with the other, so immature!
They are both church going Christians and I'm left to wonder what they are learning at those services.
Sad part is, I can't share the nasty details with my hubby because quite frankly they are embarrassing. So I get this silly phone calls from my parents, wanting to know if "I'm there alone" so they can unleash their crazy drama on me, one more time.
At this point, I'm resolved to no longer getting involved to the best of my ability, they have a lot of baggage over 40years or marriage and dating and I ain't no professional marriage counselor.
I believe as life partners, we have a responsibility to call one and another when we are doing wrong or when our life principles are a little warped, my parents had some pretty warped ideas while raising us, it doesn't appear that they called each other to order, and now I see them applying those same principles to one another and I can't help but think, well you deserve each other and that's what you get!

Hmmm I feel a little better now after writing this.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Another womans sudden interest in my hubby

I find it interesting that people see what you have and they want it for themselves. I mean in wanting your partner for themselves. I'm convinced some women even tell themselves thats not not they are doing. I'm just glad hubby and I discussed boundaries with people outside of our marriage just recently.
Seeing pictures of a happily married couples makes my heart smile and sometimes I wonder what war is being waged against them.
I guess its a reminder that we have to be praying wives/husbands. Putting a covering over our partners as they head out into the world. There's a woman at work that has suddenly taken an interest in my hubby, may my heavenly Father sabotage all her plans and intentions if they are not for the good of our marriage. Challenges will come, I choose not to deal with it in fear, for my God has not given me the spirit of fear, but that of power and a sound mind.