I'm overwhelmed with my thoughts.
My parents have been fighting like cats and dogs and have now some how intensified how they involve their children after or during the crazy fights by reporting one another to the children. My father has shared gory details of things that happened as far back as 40years ago between them that should be left between a husband and a wife, I resent him for that. It appears that he's bent on destroying her image with the children but it ain't going to work.
I find myself being resentful of them at times because I hate that with almost 40 years of marriage, they still don't have it together. That's one of the reasons I married my hubby, because there seemed to be stability in his family. I resent that a foundation was not built for me as a woman, in terms of what a good marriage should be. I strongly believe that every good parent owes their children that. I resent that all their children are now married except one in his late teens and they continue to show him these awful examples. I am now at a point where I dread picking up their phone calls, because I know mom is about to say something else about dad and vice versa.
I'm disappointed because I expect much more from them and I have no respect whatsoever for this kind of behavior.
Yes, I've tried to talk to them individually, they both do not have a teachable spirit and they shout you down when you try to let them see things a certain way, they automatically believe that you are taking sides with the other, so immature!
They are both church going Christians and I'm left to wonder what they are learning at those services.
Sad part is, I can't share the nasty details with my hubby because quite frankly they are embarrassing. So I get this silly phone calls from my parents, wanting to know if "I'm there alone" so they can unleash their crazy drama on me, one more time.
At this point, I'm resolved to no longer getting involved to the best of my ability, they have a lot of baggage over 40years or marriage and dating and I ain't no professional marriage counselor.
I believe as life partners, we have a responsibility to call one and another when we are doing wrong or when our life principles are a little warped, my parents had some pretty warped ideas while raising us, it doesn't appear that they called each other to order, and now I see them applying those same principles to one another and I can't help but think, well you deserve each other and that's what you get!
Hmmm I feel a little better now after writing this.
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1 day ago
7 comments:
Wow. This hit home for me so much. Thankfully, my parents spare me the drama of calling me to report current fights, but growing up, they were never shy about hiding it. And i don't mean little arguments. Im talking about knock down, drag out, curse out, the works! It was horrible to watch as a child, and even now, in my own marriage, I struggle with th worry of my husband and I will end up that way. It is certainly not the best example to set, and I know first hand how watching a wreck of a marriage can skew the idea of what marriage is supposed to look like. I guess the only thing that we can do now is work our hardest and try our best to show OUR children was a strong, loving, healthy marriage is supposed to be.
Hi Christina, marriage is a choice right, it seems people forget that, the parents think they did something so grand by staying together but they just made it miserable for their children. We owe it to ourselves to make our marriage work and most importantly, I totally agree, we do owe it to our children to set that example because that goes from generation to generation, as for my family, I'm dedicated that the drama stops with my parents, please make that commitment. Thanks for your comment :)
It is always so sad when a parent involves their child - regardless of age - in their marital issues. It breeds confusion and resentment and puts the child in a place they have no business in. You are your mother's daughter, and don't need to know her as a wife {same for your father}, and neither does anyone else. Your dad should keep their issues between them. An exception would be if they BOTH agreed to talk to someone outside of their marriage, together, for counseling.
I'm sorry you're put in this position, and I really hope they are able to work things out.
Thanks Jelisa, I couldn't agree more. Its indeed a terrible situation to be in. Thanks for stopping by.
I know this is a serious thing but I had to LMAO@ So I get this silly phone calls from my parents, wanting to know if "I'm there alone" so they can unleash their crazy drama on me, one more time. Anyways, its their cross to carry, luckily, God has blessed with a home of your own, just take away whatever lessons you can from their situation, keep praying for them and don’t let it weigh you donw.
@ doll
thanks, you cracked up and I definitely agree with your recommendations.
My mom has done the same thing with her boyfriend of many years. it came to a point where, i relly hated when they would do that. Im very young and im no expert but i stop letting it affect me, i accept them for who they are and i go on with my life, if a situation does benefit me nor does it require a massive amount of my energy, its not worth it. Just a thought..
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